Cleanliness is next to Godliness (and I'm screwed)
Two years ago, having been the recipient of 2 hip replacements gone awry, one hip being loosened by an over zealous therapist, and the 2nd hip having been defective, I was on my way to a 3rd hip replacement. The pain was intense and I was fairly crabby for a couple of years until all this was hammered (literally) out.
A week before the 3rd surgery a good friend who I’ve known since I was 10, came by to help me clean my house so that when I did return it would be all set. Now I am the first to admit, that the house tends to get a little hairy with 2 dogs and 2 cats. Add crutches, a walker and a cane to the mix, and cleaning the house wasn’t exactly my #1 priority.
As my friend cleaned up in the kitchen, I attempted to “pick up” the bedroom. I was doing my best to put things away and straighten and throw anything away that I could.
Under my bureau I happened to notice an orphaned black sock. With one of my crutches I began to poke at it and try and drag the lonely sock out. No luck. It wasn’t moving. It was stuck.
I tried with a broomstick handle, nothing. My friend, after looking at this feeble attempt of mine to clean, came in and offered to get the sock.
She promptly moved the bureau, looked down at the floor, looked at me and said, ”I fu#@*^g HATE you.” “What’s your problem”? I said. As I looked down there was one of my cats, dead. She had been missing for oh, 3 or 4 days.
I have no idea when she died.
She didn't smell. She was a little stiff and had her eyes open.
I did manage to close them. Her little front claws were wrapped around the telephone wire. Was she trying to call 911?
My dogs, which sleep in my room every night, 1 foot away from the bureau, had no idea.
Needless to say, my friend won’t help me clean my house anymore.
A week before the 3rd surgery a good friend who I’ve known since I was 10, came by to help me clean my house so that when I did return it would be all set. Now I am the first to admit, that the house tends to get a little hairy with 2 dogs and 2 cats. Add crutches, a walker and a cane to the mix, and cleaning the house wasn’t exactly my #1 priority.
As my friend cleaned up in the kitchen, I attempted to “pick up” the bedroom. I was doing my best to put things away and straighten and throw anything away that I could.
Under my bureau I happened to notice an orphaned black sock. With one of my crutches I began to poke at it and try and drag the lonely sock out. No luck. It wasn’t moving. It was stuck.
I tried with a broomstick handle, nothing. My friend, after looking at this feeble attempt of mine to clean, came in and offered to get the sock.
She promptly moved the bureau, looked down at the floor, looked at me and said, ”I fu#@*^g HATE you.” “What’s your problem”? I said. As I looked down there was one of my cats, dead. She had been missing for oh, 3 or 4 days.
I have no idea when she died.
She didn't smell. She was a little stiff and had her eyes open.
I did manage to close them. Her little front claws were wrapped around the telephone wire. Was she trying to call 911?
My dogs, which sleep in my room every night, 1 foot away from the bureau, had no idea.
Needless to say, my friend won’t help me clean my house anymore.
posted by Suzy at 4:07 PM
7 Comments:
Glad you managed to close those little dead eyes. I am having a good belly laugh over here, thanks. I was needing one!
"It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect...
Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip."
- Psalm 18:32,36
Healing and love to you!
Geez. And I'm a cat lover too!
Oh wow, should I feel guilty that I am laughing so hard at this? No, I don't think so. Great post, as they all are. I can't believe the dogs didn't notice!!!!
Thank you, Suzy, you just keep going and going, I am dazzled!
Hey Suz,
It just occurred to me, you did it! A humor piece! Where you weren't the butt of the joke. Congrats. whoo hoo.
xo
lmfao
i mean, gee, i'm sorry to hear about your cat ... it's hard to lose the little guys, i know.
my next door neighbor in the duplex waaaaay back lo these many years ago, called me to help her get rid of a mouse that her cats had killed in the living room. all i could think was A) this woman is helpless and B) poor li'l dead grey mousie.
yeah, umm. wasnt' a dead mouse.
you'd think she'd have seen enough hairballs from her grey kitty to have recognized this one, too! :)
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